Surfer and educator Ray Gray honored at annual Surfing for Autism event

Hatteras Island’s legendary educator and surfer Ray Gray, who passed away in April 2023, was honored at this year’s Surfing for Autism event as the recipient of the Eric Gardner Memorial Award.

The award, which is given to a Surfing for Autism volunteer who has made an impact on the organization, was presented to Gray’s partner of 24 years, Paulette Boyden, at the event’s annual banquet on Friday evening, July 14.

Gray was a lifelong educator, serving as a tennis coach, science teacher, assistant principal, and elementary school principal on his native Hatteras Island. He was also locally famous as an avid surfer, enjoying sessions on the north side of the first jetty in Buxton, eponymously named “Ray’s Rights.”

But as many people attest, Ray’s greatest joy was helping to support and educate children on Hatteras Island and miles beyond, and it was this skill set that brightened the annual Surfing for Autism event since its inception.

Surfing for Autism was started in April 2010 by two parents with children who have autism. At the time, President and Co-founder Eileen Lowery was directing the local OBX Chapter of the Autism Society of NC. They discussed organizing local events for children, like a community run, but Lowery wanted to take advantage of the local Outer Banks resources and landscape to provide a unique experience – namely, a day of learning to surf in the ocean waters.

The first Surfing for Autism event in 2010 had just 30 participants, but in the years that followed, Surfing for Autism attracted hundreds of children, therapists, and surfing instructors who would help children with autism discover the joys of riding the local waves near Jennette’s Pier in Nags Head.

Gray joined as a volunteer surfing instructor in 2011, and was a recognizable presence every year for the next decade. Even after Gray suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2015, which hindered his ability to serve as a volunteer surf instructor, he nevertheless attended every Surfing for Autism event as a supporter from the sidelines.

“Ray has always been with us from the very beginning,” said Lowery. “Even after his accident, he was out there, sitting with the surfers, and they would all gather around him. Even though he wasn’t in the water, he was a presence.”

“Everyone loved having Ray – not only when he was able to be a volunteer in the water with the kids, but when he was there as a supporter,” added Lowery. “We wanted to honor his time with us, and the different ways he was with us, every year… The surfers knew him, our therapists knew him, I think everyone who has volunteered over the years had come to know Ray.”

The Eric Gardner Memorial Award is named for a dear friend of the organization whose memory is honored every year by presenting the award to a stand-out volunteer. “It’s really a no-brainer for us to honor our dear friend Ray Gray this year, who was a wonderful friend, and a wonderful presence on the beach,” said Lowery at the award presentation.

“This would be Ray’s highest honor,” said Boyden. “He saw the same kids every year, and he remembered them. He loved those kids, and they were all so special to him. He looked forward to this every single year.”

According to Boyden, the event became even more important to Ray after his brain injury, as the connections remained strong in the years that followed.

“It was special to him because of that shared love of the water,” said Boyden. “Surfing for Autism turned everything around for Ray, because the kids and surfers and therapists understood that love of the water, just like Ray did, and it meant a lot to him to attend [every year.]”

After the award was presented on Friday, a Memorial Paddle-out was also held on Saturday morning in Ray’s honor, before the Surfing for Autism surfing session officially began.

“I got to see Ray as the teacher, the principal, the surfer, and the volunteer,” said Lowery. “He was always the one who showed up. And he had a huge heart.”

And as Boyden stated, out of all the awards that could be presented to honor Gray’s lifetime of achievements, the Surfing for Autism’s Eric Gardner Memorial Award is a distinction that he would have been most proud of.

“I know Ray would have been so appreciative of this award, and I can’t think of any honor that would have been more significant to him,” said Boyden. “This event and those kids were so special to Ray, and I’m so grateful that he is being recognized in this amazing way.”

For more information on Surfing for Autism, and to volunteer for future events or make a donation, visit their website at https://surfingforautism.org/.

The Ray Gray, Jr. Memorial Scholarship Fund is also being established via the Outer Banks Community Foundation to benefit college-bound Hatteras Island youth. To make a memorial donation to the scholarship fund, visit obcf.org/ray-gray-jr-memorial-scholarship.